this isn't the life that i ordered.

Hi, my name is Jodi-Anne Gonzalez and my life has completely crumbled to the ground.

Well, to start things off... I have never really had much of a life to begin with. I have a few good friends, a couple of addictions, and a handful of issues. It's never really been that bad, I've dealt with it, I've built character from it all... but lately, everything seems to be unraveling.

I'm not even going to get into the logistics of what is going on in my life, just know that after everything that I have been through... I feel like my heart can't break anymore than it already has. My heart is literally to the point where it can't be fixed, shattered into a million pieces. It just hurts, everything just hurts. I can't breathe.

Fuck the character building experiences. The more that I go through, the more I feel like I'm fading away. I have nothing to say anymore, everything goes bad, so I just don't care anymore. Anything else, and I'll be gone forever.

I just want to give up. I am so unbelievably sick of defending myself to people that don't even deserve my time. I don't want to have to fight about the truth, because no matter what i say, people will think what they want. Its a never ending and completely pointless battle, but for some reason... I feel like I have to fight, like I can't just leave things the way that they are and get over it. But it's pointless. I'm sick of it, I can't take anymore of it. I am completely fading into the sea of rumors and bad thoughts that are being said right now. I feel like if I just give up, if i just give in, and let the sea of rumors flow, that things would be easier, that it would be easier to just drown in it all.

So here's where it ends.. I give up.