change.

I'm changing my life.
Monday, i'm starting fresh.
If I don't, then I will have some serious life altering issues that I would regret for the rest of time.
I have not been good.
I have not been on track like I promised myself I would be.
I've fallen so far...
I feel like I'm at my deepest lows again,
and it's really unhealthy and ruining my life.
But I am so lucky that I have a friend here that is amazing.
for once, I have a friend that has a soul that is just about as beaten up and bruised as mine.
she understands the gravity of my pain even though she hasnt gone through all the shit that I have been through...
and that is very hard for someone to do.
I feel a lot better when I talk to her.
we pulled an all nighter tonight just talking about our issues.
we can talk about really intense serious stuff that we keep locked up
and we both never judge each other...
because we both feel a lot of pain and understand what you have to do to deal with that pain sometimes.
i feel so much better that i have to talk to.
she makes me realize that i'm not the only crazy one out there...
and together, we both want to better ourselves,
and i feel like this will work, because she knows what it looks like when someone is falling...
and i love that shes a good enough friend to catch me.