do you ever just want to be loved,
not necessarily by a guy... but just loved in general?

i thought that i could do without it.
i always figured... i've been doing everything on my own since i was little, i don't need anyone else; i don't need their approval, i don't need their support, and i don't need their love.

ever since i could remember, my dad was never around. he was always too busy with work or god knows what. my mother was spread so thin between her kids, her job, her friends, and then her cancer took it all, her cancer took her life.

growing up, all that i had was me. sure, i had friends... but i can say right now that i have never let any of my friend in 100%. i would say that the most i have ever let a friend in leaves them knowing only half the story. there were always details twisted or just left out in general because i have never trusted anyone wholly.

i wish that i could say that there is someone in my life that knows absolutely everything.. someone that knows what i'm thinking or how i feel without me having to explain. someone that just knows me inside and out, that loves me for who i am.. flaws and all. the sad part is, even if there is someone out there... chances are, i will never let them in completely.

my heart is too small to let anybody else inside.